|Tracfone||Virgin Mobile||T-mobile Prepaid||Cingular Prepaid||Winner|
|[company]is a chick magnet||43||253||87||1,200||Cingular Prepaid|
|[company]attracts hotties||2||3||21||3||T-mobile Prepaid|
|[company]attracts alligators||0||0||1||1||Tracfone / Virgin Mobile|
|[company]caused my breakup||11||59||47||45||Tracfone|
|[company]caused my hernia||1||6||3||2||Tracfone|
The safest prepaid cell phone choice appears to be Tracfone, with 3 points. The other phones have similar numbers of points, and are reviewed in depth below.
Tracfone: A safe choice, least likely to attract alligators and cause medical problems. However, if you are looking for love, this isn't the phone for you. It rated lowest in attracting the opposite sex. However, if you do find love, you are less likely to break up.
virgin Mobile: This company rocks. Single men, take note, it is also the second best for attracting women. However, you might not keep your love long since it rates highest for causing breakups. It also doesn't attract alligators, a plus if visiting Florida or the zoo. On the downside, it is most likely to cause a hernia; if you own one, don't do much heavy lifting.
T-mobile Prepaid: Single ladies, this is the phone for you. It is most likely to attract hotties. It also might attract alligators, so watch yourselves. It is solidly in the middle in the other categories.
Cingular Prepaid: Ladies, this phone attracts the gentlemen and is least likely to suck. It may attract alligators, so be careful.