My (Useless) Pregnancy Advice

I've had 2 children. While this hardly qualifies me as an expert, here's my advice:

1. It doesn't matter if the hospital you choose has jetted tubs, you won't get to use them. I was so excited to be able to use the jetted tubs during labor at the hospital, however I couldn't because the first time, I was on internal monitors and the second time I was on internal monitors and the hospital was so full I gave birth in the admittance room.
2. Your baby will choose to come at the same time as every one else's. (see above)
   
3. Feed your baby whenever he/she wants (especially if this is your first baby). Some people say, put your baby on schedule. Unless you are exceptionally lucky, your baby won't care about the advice and will just cry until fed. After a few months your baby will settle into a pattern. My daughter was exceptionally bad and ate every hour and a half until she was six months old (this means I had an hour between the the end of one feeding and beginning of the next.) She was born underweight and trying to catch up.
   
4. Babies aren't any fun for the first 3 months. Newborns are unattractive (don't worry, you'll think your baby is the exception), don't smile, and mostly cry, wet their diapers, and eat. If you can survive the first three months, things get better from there.
   
5. Take your baby on walks if weather permits. Most babies love the outdoors and will stop crying.
6. A front pack is a great thing, especially if you have a toddler too.
7. If you like to read, a handheld / PDA is a good investment. I bought a Sony Clie SJ-20 for about $50 on ebay. It was some of the best money I've spent. With a memory stick, I can fit about 30+ books on it. While my baby is eating in the middle of the night I can read, and since the screen is backlit I can keep the room dark. The battery life was great too, I recharge it about once a week.
   
8. Get a comfortable recliner. I recommend La-Z-boy. I've slept in the recliner with my babies for the first few months. My babies slept longer on me than they would otherwise and when they were hungry, I was right there to feed them and didn't have to get up. I also didn't have to worry about them getting used to sleeping in my bed. After a certain point, it stops being comfortable, but by then the baby should was used to sleeping his own bed courtesy of day time naps. (This only works if you are a relative light sleeper and don't move around much)
9. You will probably crave Arby's beef and cheddar sandwiches. They were the greatest thing in the world when I was pregnant. The red ranch sauce is amazing.
10. If you want, go for a natural child birth, but be ready to take the drugs. I've tried twice and had an epidural twice. If your labor stalls, get the epidural. For me, as soon as I didn't feel any pain, the baby was born with in an hour.
11. Average labor lasts 12 hours.